I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You were trust falling into bushes
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
