I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
