I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
