so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
