Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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