Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
