Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
