you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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