So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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