Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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