How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
