Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
