You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
you had me at cake vodka
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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