Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
