Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
So. Much. Porn.
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