I'm drive I can fine osifer
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
