How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
