Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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