oh god the rape fog is back!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
