So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
