i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
