I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Bring me that man meat
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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