kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
last night I used snow as a chaser
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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