Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize