The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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