Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
