Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
