apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
