I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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