at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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