I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize