Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
