so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
