This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
