Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
