Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
