i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
