I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
