that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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