i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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