Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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