We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
