The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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