Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize