i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
