Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
As shirtless as possible
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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