Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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