A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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