Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize