He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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