JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
