As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
