So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
