i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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