Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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