The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
