Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
