My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
