i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When did angry sex become our thing?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
