I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
