Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
from now on my penis is your penis
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
