Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
