1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
